lost my way for a bit
outcast but I could've adapted it
no wonder I felt out of place and out of it another person's art and it doesn't fit
it's such a creative dissonance
using someone else's creativeness
had to shake my head around
obsession has repercussions is what I found
and as I was making my bed I realized it wasn't too profound
and there's nothing to do about it now
playing around and found life's nothing to play about
pegging self hatred as romantic
denying reality as it's getting hectic
hell thoughts I made in that realm
dxm angel no longer at the helm
angel psychosis and I'm so scared now and I had to change the way I carry myself somehow
and did you notice I was becoming you
am I cutting too deep I'll stop cutting now
I had to heal so what comes out is really me
now I'm crazy just like I'm supposed to be
I just have AVPD it's an avoidance sensitivity
romanticized weakness led it all to disarray
and now all I wanna be is harmony
and I could never see to rebel is to truly see
and to love myself cause no one could but me
and if everything is ugly
and I'm not very cute or cuddly
then I might as well be dead
there's no instead I can't give up on my head
spirit first then build the temple after
but what I desire is co-opted by evil laughter
please desecrate and trample my garden master
I'm so torn in two
had a god-fearing view
and now I'm just turning too
demonic and I'm unsure it's truly me
wishing god would make a prostitute out of me faster
and please rape or kill me master
either way my brains will splatter
as I'm yelling get it out as it's happening
maybe it's all these demons I'm harbouring
don't care cause it's all so fun and attracting
what was twisted to me is now my favorite things
and that is the other half of me
that's what she didn't say to me
what will be among all the lust I bring
I just want to play so badly
I guess I'm just a little demented whore for daddy