/s4s/ - anime pillow fight

I don't go by no phony politics, the skinheads are of no prowess to me, I'm of "pure skin" yet I get treated by an animal by the people that are supposed to save me, belittled by life itself.
I've been thinking about this a lot, I've been proven to be incompatible with corporate life and berated by the thugs, full of anger because of my own doings, I sit as a steel made bystander.

The life that you live may not be as rewarding as it is for others, and that's fine, just don't dive too deep into the hellhole that is now wrongfully thought of as an axiom. Empirical evidence is useless when manipulated by higher beings.

4294378d1ef640fe7a34f981da5a1bd0.jpg
[Hide] (712.8KB, 768x1024)

Only an individual can take credit for land, the state is powerless compared to me. That phrase may seem useless when taken for granted but the weight of it will dampen with each year that passes. The steady and unintentional genocide is great feedback for now, C-c C-l t

a8411461e54f7022360aa69ab537a26c.jpg
[Hide] (61.8KB, 680x680)

The drugs I'm taking don't even make me feel at ease anymore, I'm a shelled up nobody who's mad at the whole world for no apparent reason. To you, may you realize on your 15th chainsmoked cigarette butt that the physical way of life, while upsetting at first, can be manipulated with ease if you'd like something FRESHER or perhaps something FUN or ==INNOVATIVE= we should all bless the powers of maladaptivity, a mans' trash is another mans' treasure after all.

e85ef2c5c51dfd579eaafa740b50a4848e9c20ac2ac6e08dcf87b8c4f53dc39d.jpg
[Hide] (205.3KB, 456x428)

are u okay Squishy?

>>56937
I never work a job. I refuse to work.

I am in the best shape of myself, the juices of the gash will keep me going for years to come! The thugs that were supposed to give me the freedom of expression, the freedom of creativity once again silenced me with no way to come back, I sit in angry depression with nowhere to express my feelings, hence the thread here. My thoughts might not come off as apparent, but I've prepared big things for the near future, people will turn their eyes on me, beit in a good or bad manner. The voices of the casualty will be heard, this is all great representation, 3519810. Keep this in mind.

Have you ever hurt yourself to make someone feel SORRY ? If you manager to get the cut right the empathy may last for a while, but all they think about is
>God, I can't believe I found someone this vulnerable that I can toy with
It's all a hoax, I've found my meaning, and it won't ever be motivated by petty sex or any sort of sexual and/or romantic relationships. My bitter peace is the only thing that keeps me calm, but I'll always be a creep who's been neglected enough to not need support in the first place. The Mediterraneans know my state of mind to the very fundamentals, only if I wasn't yelling so often at it..

5fa2ba5bb216485826cd36235b3f8cb75eabac3ccd101e1ee99239dea8113727.png
[Hide] (266.3KB, 680x648)

Wild crashout but ok
>>56941
Squishy's off the meds

THIS IS IT!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS FUCKING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A BEING OF ABSOLUTE POWER, A LOSER OF UNKNOWN MAGNITUDE, THE CATALOG OF ALL EVENTS!!!!!!!!! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT, HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Light LEAKS through the CRACKS. My mind is BRIGHTER than it EVER was. THE HIGHER I RISE THE MORE I SEE.

First it was the dreams. Then it was the visions. NOW IT'S EVERYTHING.  I no longer have any idea what is real, and what is not.

happened to me once

>>56949
>>56948
Have you been subjected to the ketamine overload during sleep too? When I think of an abused dog I do not think of the classical forms of abuse (sexual, emotional and physical) I think of men like us who have to endure the reality in its purest, blinding form. I'm implementing virtual tokens into my reality, I'm not allowed to say much unless I've really earned it.

The romans would see this as pure beauty, sadly, this is not an acceptable display of creativity anymore. Each day I carry deep shame with me simply because the organized empiricists can't really grasp the idea of acting by your own meaning in life, I am the non supernatural divine that will one day rise above all, not in a metaphorical sense, but if continued far enough, it will certainly lead to death or worse. I am hungry for a fair probability.

ebeb7238d9efa3a53a2954b2d32b268fe7451af792a910bdc6bf3b22d3a998ce I have to continue with the burden of reality, I'm on the cusp of giving up but as a successful congressman, I can guarantee you that there are very unfair ways in which people make it out of hellholes, but there's also the majority who gets all smug for nothing, Those fucking cunts

love you

>>56951
no, i'm just quoting things from cultist simulator because the thread reminded me of it lole

MY PLEASURE; YOUR PAIN

>>56847
I met you at the university, I still remember the old you. The fully liberal kind, did not believe in the power of the state, do you remember? I stood by you even when you were accused of rape, remember? As I breast feed our son, you will be free of all burden, I am the man that everything is being placed on, was, and shall be.
I hear the potions making odd sounds, they're somewhere around here but I can't pinpoint the location nor the sound. I can swear that I sometimes hear it South from the angle of my bed, sometimes it's the complete opposite, and it can rarely even show up when I'm outside. These people really don't get it.

We were such foolish kids, attending concerts of bands that contradict one another, drinking when we were supposed to study, all the floppy sex we had while trying to not wake up your roommate. Did that guy even know we were once together? I want the world to know it's official, that we actually had something going on, not just 2 dumb straight guys acting as one another's wingman. These dynamics are all stupid, I want to disassociate from them as much as I can.

It's been over a decade, have you already moved on? Probability is one hell of a ride, if a gate opens, you should enter with your arms wide open, there's no guarantee that you're going to walk across it again.

sample_694675afa644d5b8d0031d1f586bfcdc.jpg
[Hide] (212.9KB, 850x1285)

I don't want to appear like I'm missing the fundamental human emotions, I feel plenty of rage and sometimes even lust, I just lack "the stuff" when it comes to other abilities. My survival and well-being is fully dependent on it but I can't even mimic the rudimentary human emotions for the life of me, my mind is in a completely different time and space. Pathologically incurable

Itoopie.svg.png
[Hide] (195.7KB, 2048x2048)

Perhaps if I hide even more of myself then it's going to be like I never even existed in the first place.

YOU LITTLE CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S SO PROUD OF THAT, HE TALKS JUST LIKE A CUNT.

Another day goes by, it's been 8 long years in this state of being. Goodnight.

>>56975
good night

c8530c281f6d3c67b3288099ea674fd2.jpg
[Hide] (110.1KB, 850x871)

These cunts won't stop striking back on me, I'm not immature enough to do anything malicious though, I've lost my ego a long time ago. I simply exist.

I should really blast off my fucking face in one of these days.

shred -n 50000

752ddc99e925dd3b4087853d9648ed3b.gif
[Hide] (2.4MB, 400x320)

If you go I swear I'll make you bleed

I'm of the thought that it's all quite simple if you observer ones' suffering, this won't ease their state of being. Even less so, while you might be planning to end it all, by trying to help a worm of a human being help themselves it's all going to be a huge dealbreaker. Living on this planet is all about social contact, no matter how scarring.

Is this just another test to prove me wrong?

It won't stop any time soon. Rats keep squealing in an attempt to get my attention but I'm far to apathetic to listen to their demands, I've not yet considered the possibilities of their actions as "barbarian" or "colossal" I just think they do what they need to do and move on with their days. Perhaps I should be more like them.

T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr T Trr Trr T Trr T r T r T r T r T r EEK

3fA9GCobtNQwoLcBIV6QUQbKZxEx3c_large.jpg
[Hide] (328.2KB, 1288x1600)

Playing the old pipe again, a complete lack of working memory has led me to spout out nothing but unlistenable noises that make me further decompose alive. Maybe piano suits me better.

My somehow lifeless body still made it through a day while the entities have been constantly tinkering with my feelings. I am a slave to the divine and it's driving me nuts.

I can rock my own damn world.

I always scream so loud into my microphone, it's really pissing them off. They quickly rush to the spokesperson in a futile attempt to silence me but it's all just a waste of time in the end, I will continue to prosper and anger the infidels. You might not be able to see me, but I can guarantee you that this is all just a small cog in the wheel.

Erdos_budapest_fall_1992_(cropped).jpg
[Hide] (65.7KB, 324x430)

They're in danger, and I continue to stare in dismay. Cannibals, Ashkenazis, Paul Erdős, you name it. It makes me feel a bit emasculated at the end of the day, mockery continues to flow despite me keeping the wellness of the masses, it's pretty silly at the end of the day because I'm almost finished with it all, but we can't ever win back from the 25th.

what does Paul Erdos have to do with any of this

>>57082
What does he not? Erdős, Stallman, Ramón y Cajal and John Money have everything to do with this.

>>57083
elaborate on that

>>57084
It goes back to a lot of personal experience and development, I'd rather not elaborate further. I know that most of this sounds like schizobabble but I'm being honest, I'd just rather not drop any personally identifiable information, I'm not looking forward to getting people to know me here either way. Have a nice evening.

>>57089
you interest me but your posts are too schizo for me to formulate a response 
all i know about erdos is that he took stimulants and slept in other people's houses to do math and leave

>>57091
>you interest me
Not exactly what I was looking for by starting my adage here but it's interesting to see, I used to publish similar posts on another imageboard but the moderators eventually got sick of me so I'm here. I'd like if the admin here tells me if I'm being a burden over here so I can sage my posts instead of him simply deleting my thread
>your posts are too schizo for me to formulate a response 
I can be coherent if I'd like to, matter of fact, I've been coherent for most of my life! Quoting Edgar Poe, I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. it's often a nice break from a mundane world. I can't say that I'm fully sane but I'm definitely not what most people think of when they hear the word "insane" being attributed to another person. I am not in the schizophrenic spectrum and I'd like to clear that out.
>all i know about erdos is that he took stimulants and slept in other people's houses to do math and leave
Erdős should serve as a role model to anyone, regardless of their career. I'm nowhere near a proficient mathematician, higher end of mediocre at best, but I'd wish to be at least a quarter of Erdős.

>>57095
now you interest me even more..
what brings you here anyway? where did you find this place?

IMG20180122143829.jpg
[Hide] (2.9MB, 4160x3120)

>>57097
>what brings you here anyway?
Long story short, I'm a faggot, and I like the atmosphere here, but I'm too ashamed to match it in any shape or form, most of the posts about sexuality here bring me melancholy, disgust and envy. This site allows Tor exit nodes to post so that's mostly why I settled.
>where did you find this place?
I'll try to leave as little information as I can but I was searching for some data and I somehow came across this site, which is very odd since most of the sites that I come across while doing this are in Chinese and haven't been updated since circa 2012, you can tell by the aesthetic. It felt like a sign. This might sound like I'm maliciously adding more obscurity to my appearance here but I'm weirdly enough honest, regardless of how hard it might be to believe.

THE KID CAN'T EVEN PAINT, SHE'S CUTE, MAYBE KIND OF A BLACK BOARD AWAITING TO BE WRITTEN ON WITH PLENTY OF BULLSHIT THAT YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND, JUST FOR SEXUALLY IMMATURE MEN TO SCRIBBLE DEVIANT NONSENSE ON A FACTORY MODEL, DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SPEECH? DO YOU OFTEN FEEL LIKE YOU CAN'T WORD YOUR SENTENCES A SEXUAL DEVIANT PLAYING IN THE ROLE OF A gOD FEARING MAN, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW SHE'LL GROW UP??? YOURS, HERS, THAT'S IT.
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
ARE YOU STILL STAINING THE BED? ADOLESCENT DECISIONS SURE ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS, YOU CHATTER WITH THE KIDS AND REALIZE YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE THEM, COULD THAT BE A GOOD THING COULD THAT BE A GOOOOOOOOD THING? YOU GROW UP, NOT HERE, TO WORK? YOU CAN'T EVEN READ A BOOK, YOU CAN'T EVEN SUCK COCK. DO YOU EVEN RECOGNIZE YOUR TYPE? AS YOU DROWN IN IMMATURE NONSENSE ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE GROWING UP. DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH SPEECH? NO MONEY? MIGHT ASWELL LIVE IN A TRASH

Nervous, dissociated, I'm sure you don't see the fucking flick waiting for it to be inhaled, now it finally tastes like something. Anyone siding with what you stop doing, IT'S HIS CHOICE, NOW!

Now that I'm finally home, I can finally succumb and fall asleep to the slow rhythm of the xylophone, the only place where I'm at peace. The children start playing with their toys, squeaking them all around the apartment, it only reminds me of my inability to bring joy to this world.

You art turned into a repetitive, limp vocation that's meant to leave people with no questions to ask. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
As I move closer to the sound all I hear is muddled up noises and your generic niche that you've turned into a slap on the face, where's the erotica in this? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? 
I'm disappointed.

I keep hearing a divine, static rhythm, all I can think about is it. I no longer feel love, hunger, hate, or disgust, I just stare at the wall and listen to what it has to say. Why have we been subjected to this for so long? Why is it now yelling? I can hear a vortex, it's a very weird feeling but it reminds me of how my brain works. Life is odd nowadays.

PLAY TO REHEARSE ME! MAY YOU?

[untitled].mp3
[Hide] (5.8MB, 02:32)

>>57013
Wow. Good night.

135701136_p0.jpg
[Hide] (5.4MB, 1536x2304)

Based admin bumplocking the schizo thread

>>57099
are you like, living a schizo digital nomadic lifestyle or something

image-42.png
[Hide] (55.9KB, 184x184)

a grotesque idea of sophistication

>>57126
>>57119
I am not a "schizo".
>are you like, living a schizo digital nomadic lifestyle or something
I stayed on an imageboard for the last 3 years making similar posts but as I've already mentioned, the mods got sick of me so they deleted my thread, hence I wouldn't call myself a nomad, I think of it as being extradited.

"How the fuck did I end up in this place?" as the rattle starts aggressively shaking I am left with no room for thinking, all I can do is listen.

Nice way of taunting faggot, here's my attempt
06110A085F7CD3821836DA2CA94C23F667AF8FDE

Patiently waiting for the bloodshed. I can already hear the opening of the war, it's all very clear to me. 2159.