be my therapist...
i want feminize
im no afraid of being sterile
I dont think i ever thought fully I am girl inside
but iz all I ever think about.. be girl
I dont know
I kinda prefer feminine energy like angelic and anime idealistic energy or I suppose the irl counterpart is japanese girls or cute and nice e-girls
it worries me because Idk how much I truly have it inside me
maybe im just a boy but I always have feel I wanna change but idk how much I'm willing to shift when people around me
it doesn't change the fact I wanna go through with feminzarion
I like the idea that I can give it a shot and stop before permanent changes
im learning at least identity fully as female for 6 months, i havent
i just don't wanna wait, I'm almost 25
im willing to lie
im willing to do it illegally
im so distraught because I feel i thought it through enough!
It could be that I'm a crossdresser and genderfluid person and I shouldn't transition
I feel like no matter what I do
I'll always feel in my head that I'm just an imposter who isn't trans
the extent that I want it is important ik...
do I want hormones so I can be licentious and not be just a man in a dress? idk
mayybe at some point I started programming myself to think I want a full girl lifestyle for some reason.
maybe the sissy hypno was the spark and then i assumed i should keep going.
in my childhood i started as a crossdresser and didn't think about if I had the wrong body much
i didnt feel attracted to anyone, slowly the penetration happened and I wasn't even associating it with men, then I did do that and it felt like men were a kink and not truly my attraction like a women would feel. I suppose now if I meet a levelheaded person who isn't a narcissist I would love them until I die. My mind is so null, I don't understand it, I don't even wanna be gay, the thought destroys me...
I hope I just die soon
this is hell
I don't want this life
I dont understand whats in my head
I didnt even definitively realize I was probably gay until after highschool...
I don't feel attracted to bodies other than being horny at the thought of a girl's body being my body...
If I can be cute I don't care who I date.
I think I loved a person and they were a femboy who was wholesome and basically helped me feel smol and they seemed angelic so I loved that...
wasn't a very male energy and not fully female energy although it was a distinct nice and logical energy...
I suppose thats what I am attracted too...
cuz girls seem just too much and they want the exact thing i want so how doues that work out?
what do squishy?