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No news is good news.
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Hot news.
Just had sex.
Thanks for subscribing to my column.
Some news is bad news.
Five men killed today in a five car collision on the main road through Bruckersville. 
Chief of police Gary Johnson reports that it is believed one driver fell asleep behind the wheel. 
A diversion is currently in place directing traffic North through Quigley. 

In other news,
Red Star rebels in the M'wende basin have attacked a UN convoy this morning. 
Corpses of the peacekeepers were mutilated and strung up on makeshift crucifixes. 
We pass you over to our field reporter Mike Blimp to describe the harrowing scenes he has witnessed.
there was a storm and a random dog showed up on my front door and won't leave
he's lying on the doormat right now 

he's friendly and wants to follow me inside but i won't let him in because he's completely drenched and my own dog wouldn't like it
Replies: >>29591
>>29590
It's a skinwalker
Replies: >>29592
>>29591
i don't know what breed that is but he looks like some kind of dachshund mix
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