[Yesterday, 8:41 PM]
Autism chan:
I luv end roll
Wednesday, August 21, 2024
[8:06 AM]
𓏵:
pat pat
[9:07 AM]
𓏵:
have u ever taken a drug that made u feel like ur floating and nonexistent besides dxm or were u able to achieve something like that naturally overtime
[9:08 AM]
Autism chan:
PCP
didn't know it was pcp though
Benzo would be optimal
[9:09 AM]
𓏵:
lucky
benzos dont do that for me
if anythign they make me feel more
though im taking a stimulant and i can kinda be autopilot now
weird right
[9:10 AM]
Autism chan:
are you mixing dxm w stimulant
[9:10 AM]
𓏵:
no
dxm is the best for that specifically though
u have to try a little on stimulants until it activates for like 12 hours or so
having a brain that listens to ur desires is nice
[9:12 AM]
Autism chan:
what high r u going for
like wym brain that listens to ur desires can you talk more abt that
[9:13 AM]
𓏵:
pretty much making myself+ego shut down while my body does things (unfortunately it has to) during the day
[9:13 AM]
Autism chan:
like quiet the brain ??
bc i understand that
[9:14 AM]
𓏵:
yes, mute everything
its probably gonna end up as some sort of psychosis/my brain will create another me so *i* dont have to exist
[9:15 AM]
Autism chan:
do you have a history of psychosis before the drug experiments
[9:15 AM]
𓏵:
not until recently
my brain was freaking out a little and tried to test if im still here by making things like exploding head syndrome
it gave up though
im new to this though and dxm would have helped much more
but i can slowly make my brain get used to not existing and being my little autopilot fren
[9:18 AM]
Autism chan:
dissociation?
[9:18 AM]
𓏵:
yes
[9:19 AM]
Autism chan:
i dont need drugs for that, but coming out of the dissociation is what is mentally painful
could use drugs for it
[9:19 AM]
𓏵:
thats the thing
i dont wanna come out of it lol
[9:19 AM]
Autism chan:
yeah
[9:20 AM]
𓏵:
it feels nice to just float around and not even having to watch ur body in 3rd person
i did this a few years ago and it resulted in selective amnesia alongside loss of that personality's interests
so even if it feels like some sort of reincarnation at least *i* wouldnt be here
its probably just gonna be little dregs of my previous feelings
[9:22 AM]
Autism chan:
i dont wanna go crazy so i dont do dxm
or more crazy... lmao,