I have BPD, my partner's a psychopath, it works great. I don't have as much of a motivation to freak out, split or manipulate him, because I know it doesn't 'work'. With most other people they're extremely easy to guilt trip and pressure into changing their behaviour to fit my very clingy preferences. But with my boyfriend he always listens, responds, the works - but there's a ceiling to it. If I keep trying to escalate or make him feel bad for 'hurting me' (aka not texting quickly enough for example), at some point he'll go 'stop, I can't stand listening to you saying this shit and being so self deprecating, of course i love you, just stop'. And that sort of helps bring me back to earth, rather than feeding into my behaviour by agreeing with me when I complain about things which are unreasonable. Or not unreasonable but just a bit too much. Because ideally I'd want your attention 24/7, and everything you do would be exactly the way I think you should do it, cause I love you so much. And so if you keep giving in when you shouldn't, then it goes from being a bit too much, to slowly escalating and taking over everything.
The tough part is mostly that he also has to listen to me and give in sometimes when I'm being reasonable, and distinguish that from when I'm not being reasonable. But hey, he's doing well
Yeah you're right. I almost don't really wanna tell him that the BPD is part of why we work so well together, cause I feel like it'd take away some of the 'magic' he feels in our relationship. But it works great due to my BPD because he genuinely is the most important person in my life, I obsess over him constantly throughout my day, even when it's not positive emotions. And being BPD you have a habit of 'reflecting' back the ideas and values that someone expresses. Not people pleasing, but without realising it yourself, you tend to highlight the qualities within you that are most resonant with the person you're talking to. So from his perspective, I'm someone who is very similar to him in ways that make it easy for him to feel understood by me, while still being 'completely unique' in the classic BPD way. So in this way, he's able to love me more genuinely because I become sort of a part of him and his own identity.
And I supply him with the comfort, love, safety, devotion trust etc that every human being needs, psychopath or not, and which he hasn't been able to find anywhere else. Because I do genuinely love him to the moon and back, the psychopathy means nothing to me, you would barely even notice it if you didn't know already. And I'm messed up too, my empathy is completely whack, who am I to judge? As long as I'm able to set clear boundaries and make sure that he knows how to treat me and what I won't tolerate, he treats me like a princess and the most precious thing in the world.