/s4s/ - anime pillow fight

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my fucking dad smashed my laptop in half about a year ago from now. i havent been the same since then. the night it happened i thought about killing myself and i cried the whole night long as if i was mourning a lover's death. BUT THEY DONT UNDERSTAND THE MEMORIES I HAD WITH THAT DEVICE I HUGGED IT TO SLEEP JUST TO FEEL THE WARMTH TO THE FANS OVERHEATING ON MY CHEST. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I WANT IT BACK '

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I bought the new Pokemon game solely because you can create a male character and then feminize him.

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It'd be so nice if there was an option to *completely* hide nameshit posts, i appreciate that the option exists, but i can still see the name 
Only posts worth a damn come from other squishers here

Nameniggers dont even bother replying, i wont be reading

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gn esfores 
lobe you

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how do i stop myself from buying coffee literally every time i do groceries

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Do any of you go to church? I stopped going after fully trooning out but before that I had fun back then. I got tons of free food, got home cooked meals and almost got a girlfriend before I realized I liked men.

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whenever dad wakes me up in the morning by watching television loudly i block his android set-top box from the internet and don't unblock it until i wake up and he just thinks the internet stopped working on its own

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It is impossible to look at this image and not think that it is a boy

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Canterlot Royal Ballet Academy: https://crba.tw/

CRBAchan: https://ib.crba.tw/

A couple years ago, late at night, I was mindlessly scrolling through DeviantART without realizing that in just a few minutes, I would discover something not just good, not just great, not just amazing, not even 'perfect', but something so good that it feels like it shouldn't even possible to imagine in waking reality let alone have it actually exist. Something beyond perfection, transcendental. Almost like a divine gift that could not be crafted by human hands.

This also started about a week earlier (the fateful day was the night of March 9, 2024). I had been doing that was becoming something of a habit for me. Which was to go to deviantart and keep clicking on art that interested me in the sidebar section that's supposed show similar art, and keep doing this recursively until I had accumulated a ton of tabs. I would then go back and download all of the art. I had done this on March 3rd, and I was now doing it again on March 9th.

Suddenly, I caught something very peculiar in the corner of my eye. Even though it was just a thumbnail, my eyes became immediately fixated upon it. Not just that, but it almost felt like my visual perception had been changed in that small spot in some way. Almost like I was seeing new patterns and textures that you shouldn't be able to see, and at a much higher intensity than I previously thought imaginable. The closest analogy I can think of to describe it is image looking something beautiful shining in the light with a lot of caustic and refractive shimmers (like glass or ice) and then just imagine turning the sharpness up and up to unimaginably high levels, but without it bleeding out. Imagine doing this to such an insane degree that you begin to perceive new colors and textures. Additionally it felt almost like time had stopped, and that something very monumental had just happened. Just a moment before I was carefree, now I was suddenly intense.

I clicked on the image (for reference, it was this image https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Octavia-the-world-of-my-own-777725763), and I suddenly felt a very perplexing feeling. Very timeless, innocent, and nostalgic. But also very 'atmospheric', something about I started to feeling in this very surrounding and close way.

I noted the name of the artist, 'AVCHonline'. I then searched his name only to discover a plethora of related artwork. The art piece I had seen was just one of a miniseries, which itself was a precursor to his main series, 'Canterlot Royal Ballet Academy'. I searched this and felt yet another feeling, however this feeling was much less sensational and much more just confusional, almost laughter. Here I had discovered something utterly bizarre: A massive series, spanning hundreds of artworks, all consisting of anthropomorphic ponies dressed in tutus, and in incredibly intricate and striking detail. The amount of details (and the presumable amount of effort involved just as much) amazed me, and I wondered why someone would dedicate so much time to something so strange.

Within half an hour though, I would not only no exactly why, but I would feel at such a deep level that almost felt like my life mission. Soon, this feeling of confusion faded into a feeling of utter amazement, bliss, and serenity. I would begin to feel similarly feelings as the first artwork, but much more vivid and rich. I felt as if nothing else in the world mattered, everything else had completely vanished from my thoughts. Even the thought of this happening had vanished. I also began to experience an intense supernatural feeling, most closely resembling what you may know as a smell. The closest smell I can describe is like some kind of perfume. But it was not just a smell - it was all encompassing. It felt like rather than breathing it, I was flowing through some gigantic ethereal wind that was passing through my body. It could feel it in my chest, nostrils, and as a slight sensation all over my body. It felt like even when I was breathing out, I was breathing out this ethereal substance instead of breathing out air.

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too much fcck shht in every corner of my life, it's like i've been put in charge of a daycare that is the world.