/cowe/ - coweland

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ill just hide here until things calm down then!

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see! the world is full of really crazy people lots of the time. and so thats why its important to create little pockets of peace and safety and joy! basically this space right now is kinda like that!

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unrelated note i wanted to post this image on haloween but i forgot!! its too cute but also i dont wanna wait a whole year so ill post it now!

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>>119
also this must be a reference to the classic "who knows" post made such a long long time ago?!? almost so long ago its probably in such an old thread thats maybe impossibly hard to find?

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>>124
u found it!! classic post! actually that thread still makes me smile. thank u!!

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>>127
impressive memory! u might secretly be really good at remembering stuff

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>>>/s4s/52216
>>>/s4s/53665

other secret posts!

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>>131
thanks! i had to scroll like crazy and get lucky to find both of them!

>>132
again!?! think about it more!

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>>134
im glad! you know these threads mean a lot to me too! for many many reasons and there are so many nice people out there. sometimes people are almost waiting to hear the right words, or maybe people feel like they are bottling things up. it took me a long time to realize but for me, a silly thread is the perfect place for stuff like that!

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>>136
ill be sure to make some new ones sometime then!

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>>138
and so are (you)! precious squishy friend!

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>>140
you know thinking about it though its a bit complicated. i tend to think that people are born with a certain attitude or nature that is basically shaped by their environment. and so for lots of people its VERY hard to change these things.

i kinda know because i have these antisocial attributes that ive always tried to change but its sooo hard! i think its slightly possible but yeah basically its pretty difficult for me.

i think it could be the same way for other things too though, patience, thoughtfulness, compassion or preciousness. like some people might not be born with the antisocial stuff but maybe they are quicker to anger?

anyways i guess wouldn't ever wanna tell anyone its impossible to change! but it feels like i got a little lucky with some things! im sure you are full of special qualities and stuff too! i kinda get that feeling anyways!

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oh and something more that was my logical side speaking, i forgot that im actually capable of anything and everything! so there is no limit for me~

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>>143
i get pretty anxious! even when meeting with close friends. it not a very logical thing, but somehow my mind knows when im entering a social situation and spikes my anxiety. stuff like going to a restruant alone takes a abnormal amount of willpower for me.

ive been able to go into places and explore around a lot more lately so i think im improving?

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see, i dont like that people can tell when im nervous. it would be sooo nice to have a nice calm relaxing vibe that others could latch onto. gosh that would be soo good

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>>146
hmm, i guess both? well usually if im alone or not expected to talk i dont mind as much.

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>>148
yeah! honestly that is part of it. actually you are on to something! there are basically very few people that i dont get anxious around and its basically people who i slowly warmed up to for loooong periods of time. kinda like how u might need to just sit next to a cat and act passive until it realizes you are safe? basically it takes a long time for me to warm up to people. ontop of that its a little harder because generally u would have to have shared interests too, so its almost like im tooo picky

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but really its moreso that ill get stunlocked if i dont know what to say!

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which happens lots cause im honestly an air head most of the time

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>>152
mhmm! basically its happened a few times irl where it feels like someone persistently gets close and eventually that anxiety fades. though! on online image boards i can speak clearly and freely! no anxiety at all! completely safe~ 100% cozy!

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>>143
also u subtly changed ur nature! u changed from anon to squishy!

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>>154
i see! okay im actually kinda curious so ill ask a couple of things, are you more introverted or extroverted? and also,, do you think you might be more introverted than you think you are?

i ask because maybe its just that your social battery is running out or maybe you are not getting the right rewards out of the conversations you are having?

gosh this is actually so complicated. so the goal of a conversation is usually to have fun! if you are having conversations where you are not having fun u might shut down! and then its like how the heck does someone have fun talking with people??

who knows,,

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>>158
okay yes perfect! wait huh i forget where i was going with this~

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>>160
basically we seem kinda similar!

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>>162
yes exactly! and because we are similar that would make u perfect too!

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>>164
perfect message board friends??

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>>166
sure!! we can be message board friends!!!

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exciting!! new squishy friend yay!

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>>169
the first step is to believe you can. and then the second step is to become delusional!

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>>170
if u need help u can believe in the me that believes in u or something!

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>>171
okay sure! i talked about this once but basically if you think about what it takes to make a new habit it is all about repetition! and to establish repetition u will need basically two things,

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mindfulness and energy! mindfulness is needed because u need to be able to catch the bad behavior that you are trying to correct! whenever you have a thought or feeling that is counter productive to your change you need to calmly notice it. dont try to shut it down or anything. just pay attention to it

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energy is arguably the hard part! see your brain is super complex. your body optimizes to be as lazy as possible and so trying to change a habbit is going to burn LOTS of energy.

you might be wondering, where are you going to find all this energy? well u actually have lots hidden! they are hidden in your secret reserves. but! u can only access them if u become delusional. uhmm hold on lemme find my post

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gosh im silly and scrolled too far back! basically check the replies to this post! its really mostly the last post where i fully make my point but it should hopefully explain the idea pretty well!

>>>/s4s/57927

>>178
just for now, can you do something for me?

>>180
do you have the concept of this in your head? the idea that the power of belief can one day give you motivation?

perfect! imagine it like a seed planted into ur head!

just like this image >>151

close your eyes and imagine the plant growing from the top of your head. it starts small and it tingles just a little as it grows. the more you focus on that point on top of you head the stronger the sensation! growe plant!

do that for a couple minutes and then maybe just remember to think about the plant every so often! the plant needs attention or it will wilt!

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mhmm! thanks for talking with me! this was actually lots of fun and i enjoyed it lots! thank u!!

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ITT: schizo princess has a conversation with themselves

growe plant

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the dangers of growe plant@ remember to be careful!!

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sleepy princess thread (hidden edition)

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one side effect of the antibiotics im on is that i feel really frail and emotional. right now my legs and arms feel too heavy to move and its hard to motivate myself to draw or play games or do any of the other creative stuff i normally enjoy. i kinda find myself yearning for a world where only nice things exist.

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how did people let their hearts become so tainted?

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i think my head is filled with silly ideas. thoughts of happy warm love. thoughts of the world being filled with hope. for some reason i wanna believe that deep down most people have pure loving hearts.

yet it feels so distant. like that im looking in all the wrong places. you know how a hikikomori might withdraw from society because they dont fit in?

i dont fit in here. i dont fit in. my heart is too pure. i dont wanna see mean comments anymore. i dont wanna see two people who could be friends fight. i dont wanna see people accept hatred into their hearts.

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you know i often feel like the world as a whole has very little hope, but in small bubbles you can make paradise. i thought small little corners of the internet could be the perfect place for something like that. 

anyways! im almost done taking my medicine. once i emerge from my cacoon ill rescue everyone and everything will be okay!

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medicine REALLY messes with you. like over the past few days i find myself getting sad when watching random videos.

there was this video for this AI company that has a product where you can record a 3 minute video of a love one and then using AI you can talk to that person whenever you want. honestly i find the technology pretty psychologically messed up but mostly what got me is the way they portrayed it in the commercial.

in the commercial there was a soon to be mother and she was talking with her mom on a tablet. and she was excitedly showing her stomache and eventually her baby to the mom through the screen. only for the commercial to reveal that her mom had died of cancer recently and she was using the AI to cope.

normally when i see things like that its like obviously sad but its nothing to get emotional over, but i broke down crying at how messed up the whole idea of it is.

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maybe ill make a special meal for my mom! i think she would like that!

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i kinda feel like crying again. medicine is so weird

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just took the last pill! cant wait to feel normal again

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cant sleep

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isolated

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today i tried to post on the normal s4s and for some reason i was ip banned or something? it said if i registered an email i could post but yeah, im not really the type to. its sorta like why bother?

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i wanna sleep and wake up feeling good so i can draw and have fun and breathe and drink water and relax and enjoy things

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basically im just waiting to sleep

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divine healing angel of good sleep is here to rescue u! every1 who reads this post is blessed with super good sleep quality forever and ever! this blessing doesn't go away and cant be negated by evil ruders who wish to curse ur sleep quality! thank u for existing

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feeling a bit better today! trying to not push myself too hard for now~

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meep

growe plant

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>>208
yes! very good! growe plant!! i honestly need to do the same. sometimes healing takes so long you almost feel like giving up hope. im doing my best in my own way it just is slipping a little

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just a little longer..

>>209
>>210
she grew into a beautiful gardevoir..

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>>211
yea!! such a cute artist! ive posted them once before somewhere, but i especially like those two drawings.

>>212
are you feeling better now?

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>>213
aww thanks for asking! im feeling less nauseous, but im also feeling more pain. i really should be better already i dont know why its taking so long,, im beginning to worry ill never heal, but yeah basically maybe they should just amputate me

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ill be okay im sure that within a week it will all be okay. and if it isnt maybe i dont know maybe then my body is failing and ill have absolutely no hope at all

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sorry im trying to not despair but it kinda isnt working. i really mean it im sure everything will be okay. things sometimes just happen slowly

>>214
is there anything in particular weighing on your mind or are you physically unwell? you dont deserve this

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>>217
wait no sorry dont worry! basically bad things happen to good people all the time and so something like this is like not super terrible in the long list of bad things that could possibly happen. i think feeling pain/nausea for the last month has just kinda clouded my perspective a little.

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today is probably just a particularly painful day before things get better. im sure ill figure this out!

>>219
i hope so.. who's the cute girl you're posting?

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flonne from disgaea! ive never played any of the games but i really like how much the red stands out in these drawings.

also update! i feel a lot better after sleeping. i think i must have slept extra good somehow this time!

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welcome to the fishe aquarium! here there are aquatic creachurs that use their fins push water. when the water moves the fish also moves and thats how the fishes swim! see the interesting thing is that the fishes dont like the air they actually like the water more and so they spend a lot of time in water instead of on land!

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!? !!?

you're really cute

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thank u!! im also educational and so if u stick around u will learn lots!

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? ? ? ?

>>225
teach me!

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>>227
ok! ill make u my precious little pupil! but also my knowledge is a bit whimsical and tends to get lost and then comes back in flashes of inspiration? you see we might be waiting a while, if thats okay?

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basically the weight of my knowledge and wisdom is too much for most people to handle and their minds would simply crumble if they were to even attempt to perceive it or something. maybe! so we need to be a little extra cautious. mhmm!

>>228
i dont mind waiting

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>>230
ur like the best pupil ever! so precious and patient! i knew i could count on u. at this rate there will be nothing more for me to teach u

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also in other news, i lost my wallet and basically looked everywhere. im not super suprised because ive been so out of it the last couple of weeks but yeah. it was kinda a hard day at the hard day factory. ill have to cancel all my stuff and get a new id and yeah basically.

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this is what happens when u have so much knowledge in ur head u kinda forget basic object permanence. my precious pupil where did it go? where did u go? where are u? where?

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ill have to go to the princess licensing center tomorrow

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bunne